Sam Bash is my bitch!

Tonight, I once again dominated that diabolical, redneck conservative Sam Bash on national TV. He thought he had me with his Texas Cloverleaf, but I countered that foolish manuever, brother. He was whining that I was holding the ropes, but the ref can't call what the ref doesn't see, dude! Just like voter fraud in Philly, you gotta prove it, brother- unlike the debacles in Florida and Ohio- that doesn't need to be proven because we know it happened, dude. I will now focus my attention on that other conservative, Ass Butte. However, I need a tune up match before the next PPV, so I am challenging those retarded ass clowns The GOP to a handicap match at the next WNWA Wrestling show for my UN/ACLU Championship, brother.

David Downs

Lemme tell you something, brothers. That David Downs has gotten on my nerves, dude. That retard stole my belt and spray painted a bunch of tard gibberish all over it. Well, that ain't gonna cut the mustard, brother. I spotted that simple-minded sap jerking off in the stacks at BCPL while lusting after Neck Hair Lady. Well, I came up from behind and dropped that mongoloid with a Cut and Run from hell, brother!! I took back my property from that water head, dude. He's on my list now, dude. I'm blaming his insolence on that fool Tony Fanuci, who is supposed to be that tard terror's caretaker.

My victory

Tonight, I finally defeated the diabolical conservative Ass Butte. We had a house show at C.U.N.T., brother. Unfortunately, the coward would not put his title on the line, but I did put my UN/ACLU title up for grabs, brothers. Well, this was a First Blood Match, and I scored the win when my minion, The Turd, brought hell down on Butte's head with a steel chair, dudes. Butte's forehead split open like the Red Sea, brother. I had earlier been busted open, but thanks to The Turd and his handy bottle of Vaseline, we were able to conceal it like voter irregularities in Philly, dude. If Butte had been man enough to put his belt on the line I would now be World Heavyweight Champion, brothers. Alas, it was not to be, but I will get my date with destiny before too long, brother and whatcha gonna do when these Libotine powered arms run wild all over you, dude?!!?!?