Hillary scored a resounding, come from behind victory much like I did at UnCivil War, brother. It's all over now for Uncle Tombama. Who would vote for a black anyway? Certainly no self-respecting Democrat.
Now that Hillary is keeping up her end I can concentrate on more important matters. I have developed some new powers recently. I think it is some kind of mind control, dude. I am also able to heal myself and others. I didn't used to believe in God, but now I think I do. I think I just might be God on Earth, brother. This requires further investigation, dude.
After discovering my powers, I obtained tickets to watch Fat Ass Fanuci's favorite team, the Stealer thieves of Pittsburgh. I wanted to test my powers and see what effect they would have on the outcome of that game. I was hoping to ruin Fanuci's team's shot at the Super Bowl, brother. Well, I teleported to that piss-ridden, acid-rain scarred, rust-belt haven and cursed them. I allowed the Jaguars to beuild a large lead, then lose it, then regain it and crush the Stealers in the most excrutiating way possible. I stole Fanuci's Terrible Towel then taunted Fanuci with it before letting The Turd have his way with it, dude.
TALK UP!!!!!!!
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