Vote for Obama on Wednesday, Nov. 5, dude

Alright dudes, i've had a change of heart brother. I want that foreign half-breed to be the president, dude. so if you are voting for 0bama, remember to vote on Wednesday, jack!! If you are voting for McCain, show up on Tuesday, bra. But, please all 0bama supporters, show up at the polls promptly on Wednesday!!!

Look here brothers and fellow Hillary worshipers, dude.

I don't understand why all the people in the whole fucking world love Onigga, that damn Uncle Tomboma, jack. Hillary was chosen by Science, brother, to lead the world through the conservative wilderness into the promised land of secular bliss, dude.

I must admit, the Colored talks a good talk, dude. If I close my eyes, he says all the right things that feed my liberal soul, brother. However, when I open my eyes, dude, all I see is some ignorant black, and on top of that dude, his ancestors weren't even slaves, they were damn African tribesman, dude. So fuck him and all you so-called liberals who voted for this blue-gummed bastard. And fuck this guy too.

I remember he was a former member of Curtis's church, dude. Now this buffoon is wearing an Uncle Tombama shirt and praying to that antichrist! What an ungreatful colored!!! SCIENCE-DAMN HIM!!!

Hillary screwed my ass, dude!!

Fuck Hillary, brother. That bitch screwed me good, jack. Just the day before that coward dropped out of the race in favor of that damn Uncle Tombama she assured me that she would stay in and fight to the bitter end, like all my little Libsters, dude. That bitch told me that she would run as a third party candidate and would make me Secretary of Defense when she won, jack. She also offered me her daughter's hand in marriage, dude. All I had to do was sign over all of the community property of Frustrated Inc. so she could keep up the good fight, jack. Like she told me, dude, "we have to take from the rich for the common good." So, I signed over An Inconvenient Cafe, Curtis' church, An Inconvenient Bed & Breakfast, and all of our houses. Hell, I even gave her my old white Prius that Sam Bash vandalized and Thunderlips threw in the pool, bra! So, the next day that bitch betrays me and uses the shit I gave her to pay off her debts and then endorse that purple lipped coon, jack!!! Damn her, dude. Hillary, you can go straight to hell, jack!

What goes around comes around, dude!

Well, Teddy... looks like you are first of the big traitors to feel firsthand my supernatural powers, brother. That's what you get for betraying my man Hillary, dude. Plus, we all know the real cause of your so-called seizures, jack. I've been to a few of your parties in the past. Your nose can suck up more coke than a Hoover. I guess that's why you are still in the hospital to deal with the withdrawal symptoms, brother...Now, that I have convinced all those Kentucky morons to vote for Hillary, I'm on my way to see all those Mexicans in Puerto Rico, dude. Those wetbacks will be amazed when they see me cruise by their shacks with the largest arms in the world holding on to the ape hangers of my solar-powered Harley, dude...What are you traitors going to do, when Liberalmania runs wild on you?!!

I'm heading to Kentucky, then it's on to Memorial Day Massacre, dude

Look here little Libsters, my immortal beloved Hillary dude beat that damn Uncle Tombama like a Southern slave (though no one should confuse him for a slave, being that not even one of his ancestors was a slave) last night jack. Unfortunately, the media is so in the tank for that blue gummed bastard that no one even noticed my man Hillary won by 41 percent, bra!! Tombama is not a real black, the only African in his background was his deadbeat dad, dude, and he was from Kenya, jack. No slave equals no black in my book, brother. He's whiter than me dude, hell, my dad ran off with a gay black named Rufus and I know that fool had slave ancestors.

Well, anyway, I'm heading for Kentucky to rally those inbred hicks to vote for Queen Thrillary and Captain Redneck can go deal with those Birkenstock wearing, Latte-sipping liberals in Oregon, brother. Uncle Tombama, whatcha gonna do when Thrillary and Liberalmania runs wild on your antichrist ass, dude?!?!

As for Memorial Day Massacre, Judge Jennings said I don't have to defend my strap, jack. But I've got a score to settle with that damn Amos Moses and Sam Bash dude. So, my cousin the Yeti and I are going to team up to take on those two conservative neanderthals, brother.

Captain Redneck Dropped the Ball, Dude!!!

Damn that conservative white Republican bastard. I have been betrayed by that asshole, brother!! I think that dude was part of Operation Chaos perpetrated by the Oxycontin addict Rush Limbaugh, jack! All he had to do was get a win for my Hillary in that stupid southern shithole North Carolina, brother. That place is a liberal hot bed and shoulda been easy pickins dude, what with all the liberal egg heads and the dumb blacks that have been so easily swayed in the past, jack. Why have these stupid college kids, the media and the blacks turned their back on Hillary, brother?!?! Even at my beloved Earlham they are for that dumb coon! They have fallen for that charlatan Uncle Tombama and his stupid "hope for change" mantra, dude!!

Well, Redneck, I upheld my end of the bargain. I got a win for my beloved in Indiana but you failed us in NC, so you will not be getting the money I promised you, jack. You better make sure she wins West Virginia because there ain't no way anybody else in Frustrated Inc but you will step foot in that fucking dump.

No matter, Hillary will still win behind closed doors and if not we will do our best to make sure that uppity black loses to that senile, old stiff-armed, lunacidal bastard in November. Whatcha gonna do when Liberalmania runs wild on you, brother?!?!

Thank Science, Dude

Thank science, brother. The election finally happened dude and my man "Hell"ary beat that ungrateful minstral uncle Tomboma dude. We paid off everybody in this corn-fed state. I even personally delivered cash, drugs, and handjobs to quite a few Dems in this state to make sure my Beloved prevailed, dude.

Despite the dominating victory, I am still suffering like my last visit to the proctologist--when they ran out of KY, dude. The next stop for me will be trips to another Jesus loving, crap hole, Indiana--I gave Capt. Redneck the responsibility to make sure Tombama is defeated in Carolina, jack. Though at least after today, I can finally leave the PA shithole, jack. Though I need to move slow. My beloved celebrated her electoral victory by putting on her favorite strap-on and she decided to have her way with me dude. Then she forced me to do vodka anus shots from her ass, brother. I think I know how my personal slave, Fanuci feels, brother. Though rape by a strap-on is a small price to pay dude. The end result will be worth it. Abortions for everyone, emptied prisons, legalized drugs and raised taxes, jack. That's the dream that keeps the Democrats going, dude. And I see the Heavens have just now come into proper alignment. This is where my power lies, brother. Right here in my anus, dude and that's where all my best ideas for the Democrats come from, jack. God Socialist created the Democrats, brother, he created the blue collar idiots who vote for Dems! God Socialist created Hillary! Then, he created Libotine, brother! After Hillary becomes emperor, I can leave wrestling forever dude and retire in God's paradise, Detroit, with the title around my waist, forever. What'cha gonna do, when the Hillary, the Libotine, and my anus run wild on you, brother, What'cha gonna do?