What goes around comes around, dude!

Well, Teddy... looks like you are first of the big traitors to feel firsthand my supernatural powers, brother. That's what you get for betraying my man Hillary, dude. Plus, we all know the real cause of your so-called seizures, jack. I've been to a few of your parties in the past. Your nose can suck up more coke than a Hoover. I guess that's why you are still in the hospital to deal with the withdrawal symptoms, brother...Now, that I have convinced all those Kentucky morons to vote for Hillary, I'm on my way to see all those Mexicans in Puerto Rico, dude. Those wetbacks will be amazed when they see me cruise by their shacks with the largest arms in the world holding on to the ape hangers of my solar-powered Harley, dude...What are you traitors going to do, when Liberalmania runs wild on you?!!

I'm heading to Kentucky, then it's on to Memorial Day Massacre, dude

Look here little Libsters, my immortal beloved Hillary dude beat that damn Uncle Tombama like a Southern slave (though no one should confuse him for a slave, being that not even one of his ancestors was a slave) last night jack. Unfortunately, the media is so in the tank for that blue gummed bastard that no one even noticed my man Hillary won by 41 percent, bra!! Tombama is not a real black, the only African in his background was his deadbeat dad, dude, and he was from Kenya, jack. No slave equals no black in my book, brother. He's whiter than me dude, hell, my dad ran off with a gay black named Rufus and I know that fool had slave ancestors.

Well, anyway, I'm heading for Kentucky to rally those inbred hicks to vote for Queen Thrillary and Captain Redneck can go deal with those Birkenstock wearing, Latte-sipping liberals in Oregon, brother. Uncle Tombama, whatcha gonna do when Thrillary and Liberalmania runs wild on your antichrist ass, dude?!?!

As for Memorial Day Massacre, Judge Jennings said I don't have to defend my strap, jack. But I've got a score to settle with that damn Amos Moses and Sam Bash dude. So, my cousin the Yeti and I are going to team up to take on those two conservative neanderthals, brother.

Captain Redneck Dropped the Ball, Dude!!!

Damn that conservative white Republican bastard. I have been betrayed by that asshole, brother!! I think that dude was part of Operation Chaos perpetrated by the Oxycontin addict Rush Limbaugh, jack! All he had to do was get a win for my Hillary in that stupid southern shithole North Carolina, brother. That place is a liberal hot bed and shoulda been easy pickins dude, what with all the liberal egg heads and the dumb blacks that have been so easily swayed in the past, jack. Why have these stupid college kids, the media and the blacks turned their back on Hillary, brother?!?! Even at my beloved Earlham they are for that dumb coon! They have fallen for that charlatan Uncle Tombama and his stupid "hope for change" mantra, dude!!

Well, Redneck, I upheld my end of the bargain. I got a win for my beloved in Indiana but you failed us in NC, so you will not be getting the money I promised you, jack. You better make sure she wins West Virginia because there ain't no way anybody else in Frustrated Inc but you will step foot in that fucking dump.

No matter, Hillary will still win behind closed doors and if not we will do our best to make sure that uppity black loses to that senile, old stiff-armed, lunacidal bastard in November. Whatcha gonna do when Liberalmania runs wild on you, brother?!?!