Sam Bash is my bitch!

Tonight, I once again dominated that diabolical, redneck conservative Sam Bash on national TV. He thought he had me with his Texas Cloverleaf, but I countered that foolish manuever, brother. He was whining that I was holding the ropes, but the ref can't call what the ref doesn't see, dude! Just like voter fraud in Philly, you gotta prove it, brother- unlike the debacles in Florida and Ohio- that doesn't need to be proven because we know it happened, dude. I will now focus my attention on that other conservative, Ass Butte. However, I need a tune up match before the next PPV, so I am challenging those retarded ass clowns The GOP to a handicap match at the next WNWA Wrestling show for my UN/ACLU Championship, brother.

David Downs

Lemme tell you something, brothers. That David Downs has gotten on my nerves, dude. That retard stole my belt and spray painted a bunch of tard gibberish all over it. Well, that ain't gonna cut the mustard, brother. I spotted that simple-minded sap jerking off in the stacks at BCPL while lusting after Neck Hair Lady. Well, I came up from behind and dropped that mongoloid with a Cut and Run from hell, brother!! I took back my property from that water head, dude. He's on my list now, dude. I'm blaming his insolence on that fool Tony Fanuci, who is supposed to be that tard terror's caretaker.