A Personal Letter from My Man Hillary, Dude!

My man Hillary sent me the following letter on facebook, brother:

An Incredible Feeling

From Hillary Clinton
1:02am Wednesday, Mar 5

It's a pretty incredible feeling, isn't it? After our victories tonight we have the momentum, thanks to your will, determination, and hard work. Some people were ready to count us out (just like they do me, dude). But you and I proved them wrong, just as we have every time they tried to declare this race over prematurely. And we're going to keep showing them exactly what we can do. We're going to do it for everyone across America who's been counted out -- but refused to be knocked out. For everyone who's stumbled -- but stood right back up. And for everyone who works hard -- but never gives up. I hope you enjoy our victories tonight as much as I am. We won this one together, and that makes it that much better. Thank you so very much for all you have done for our campaign. Let's build on this remarkable momentum. Each and every one of you can make a statement tonight by going to http://www.hillaryclinton.com/facebook. Thank you so much for everything you did to make this night possible.

All the best,
Hillary

Pennsylvania is a God-fearing shithole, brother

Once again, dude Hillamania is running wild. When she told me she had an ace in the hole the other day, I thought she was talking about some kinky sex shit she had with Bill, dude.

Nope, it was that bombshell tape showing what an anti-american and racist asshole Tomboma's mentor is, brother. In fact I was so impressed with that reverend, I was thinking maybe I should vote for Tomboma--that is until he pussed out, jack and repudiated the wonderful truths of that preacher, dude.

Perhaps, I can get that preacher to show up as a guest to preach at Curtis's brothel, brother. Anyway, we (ie, Frustrated Inc. minus Fanuci and Mud) are here in this God-forsaken shithole of Pennsylvania dude. We are encouraging everyone to vote for my man Hillary. Tonight we are going to party our asses off. It's gonna make a J. Edgar Hoover party look like an elementary sleep over, dude. I hear the featured act for the celebration is Bill and mule, dude.

Hillamania, brother

Look here little Libsters. Well, we did it dude. My beloved Hillary beat Uncle Tombama's muslim ass in Ohio and Texas dude. The only glitch in the plan is the child-molesting haven of Vermont, brother. Those homos voted for Obama, jack, but they are small and no one gives a shit about them dude. Hell even in November, no one cares if those backward little shitholes vote Republican or Democrat. Vermont's greatest product, maple syrup, tastes like Curtis's ass-jelly, jack.

I know some people in the media have been saying Hillary has refocused her campaign. But that is a bunch of ga-ga. I used my supernatural powers, brother on all the simpletons in Texas. That is what won it for Hillary in this redneck state. Also, me and my legion of minions, brother, registered the cattle in this state the way JFK did in 1960, dude and all the cows and illegals voted for Hillary, dude.

I didn't need to do anything in Ohio because they hate blacks there anyway, brother! Don't worry little libsters, even though the momentum is still against us, Hillary told me the Chinese will give her enough money to buy this election, brother.

So watcha gonna do when America becomes a government of the people with money, by the people with money, for the people with money, and illegal aliens, dude? That is the America that Hillary will give us, dude. And to all you dumbass, redneck conservatives, or Uncle Toms who think this is bad, well you don't know apple butter from horseshit, brother!