My Struggle

Here is a brief synopsis of my glorious life, brother.

I am a pacifist, unless I feels that someone is a conservative. I am a librarian turned wrestler. I underwent this transformation as a way to "Liberalize" the conservative South. I'm heavily involved with Democratic politics and I know that unless the conservative South can be swayed, the Liberals will never dominate American politics, dude. Since I think that Southern culture and wrestling are synonymous, I took up this challenge.

My earliest years were care free as both parents had high paying union jobs at General Motors' Flint, MI plant and I had my first cousin Carl Reubens as a playmate. However, things soured when my Uncle (Reuben's father) had to flee the area beacuae of dodging the Vietnam War draft. I would only see his cousin sporadically until later in life. After this devastating event, I faced more adversity as both my parents were laid off from the General Motors plant when I was five. My father left, and my mother, Rhonda, soon found companionship with another woman, Lakeesha. My only friend at this time was Michael Moore--who offered his friendship as long as I gave him my lunch money.

When I was fourteen, my father Jody won custody of me and I moved to Gary, IN to live with my father and his same sex-partner Rufus. I recall that during this period of my life, I routinely blacked-out after he consumed drinks called "Mud Monkeys" provided by my father or Rufus and woke up the next day with a sore anus. I attribute the black-outs to stress. I still have a fondness for Mud Monkeys.

At seventeen in 1989, I enrolled at Earlham College in Richmond, IN, earning a bachelor's degree, then a Master's Degree both in Women's Studies. I then enrolled at Clark Atlanta University and studied Library Science and African American studies.

With all these highly useful degrees, I question why I have had trouble finding meaningful employment. It was my near welfare status, that motivated me to pursue more income by only victimizing the unimportant, "white women". I began work on a scheme along with Nigerian attorney Daniel O. Agbor to make money by enslaving white women and sending them to Nigeria. I made my wrestling debut as The Liberal Librarian in July 2006 as part of Agbor's Agbor & Associates group.

At the WNWA Legends Reunion pay per view in August 2006, I turned on my conservative partner Sam Bash and joined Bob Osborne's rogue faction, the Back Stage World Order (bsWo), allowing me to be close to my idol Thunderlips, brother. I have been involved in a bitter feud with Bash since, almost always with the help of his new partner, The Lummox.

On December 12, 2006 The Lummox and I were fired from the bsWo by Thunderlips and savagely beaten by The Insiders. On December 15, The Lummox, myself and 9th Circuit Court of Appeals Judge William J. Jennings demanded a recount of the members of the bsWo. Osborne and Bone Saw McGraw voted to keep us in the group, but Cyrius Suk, Horatio Hernandez and Thunderlips voted to kick us out and then threw Jennings and I in a pool and urinated in it. The Insiders then threw a helpless Lummox, who was locked in my Toyota Prius, into the swimming pool.

Following this terrible disappointment, a brutal attack by Sam Bash at Season's Beatings in which I was continuously shocked with a defbrillator and the tragic murder of Saddam Hussein, I announced that I would be taking some time off to recover both mentally and physically. I returned to action at the January 9, 2007 edition of WNWA Wrestling with a new bodyguard The Turd. I interfered in a match enabling Billy Bell to defeat Tony Fanuci. Bell and his brother Bobby Bell have joined forces with The Vagrants and The Lummox and myself to form the stable Frustrated Inc.

On January 19, 2007 at a house show in Boaz, AL, Frustrated Inc. defeated Team Agbor to win the World Tag Team Championship in controversial fashion. Team Agbor were announced as the winners but the decision was overturned by Judge Jennings and the 9th Circuit Court due to the fact that The Lummox and The Nigerian Nightmare both had their shoulders counted down but Jennings claimed the Lummox had his foot under the bottom rope. There was no video evidence to support this claim, however, WNWA President J.R. Ewing was powerless to stop the Court's ruling, dude.

We lost the titles to Team Agbor at February Free For All in an Anus Explosion Death Match. However, Judge Jennings once again ruled in the favor of us and said that the titles could not change hands in that type of match. Therefore, he returned the titles to Frustrated Inc.

I was named by Judge Jennings (to the protestations of J.R. Ewing) as one of the participants in the WNWA World Heavyweight Championship Tournament on February 27, 2007. On the March 13, 2007 edition of WNWA Wrestling, I defeated The Turd by disqualification to advance to the second round. The match was a sham as The Turd got himself intentionally disqualified by attacking referee Rick Clark. In the second round of the tournament I defeated The Lummox in another sham match, this time mocking the deceased Thunderlips by acting out the classic Thunderlips vs. Andre The Lummox match. Finally, I advanced to the finals of the tournament after Dale Taylor was arrested for a hate crime against Antonio Davis while on his way to the ring for his semi-final match against me. Unfortunately, I lost to Ass Butte in the finals at Memorial Day Massacre because of interference by Fanuci!!

Shortly before the finals, my cousin, Carl Reubens came back into his life after taking a job at a nearby library. I quickly hired him as a member of Frustrated Inc. and to act as his stand-in/body double.

In a bit of a side feud, I have been taunting the down-on-his-luck Tony Fanuci. After waking from a coma, Fanuci made his in-ring return at Season's Beatings against Bobby Bell. I attacked Fanuci during the match causing him to lose. Later in the show Fanuci, Big Vulva and Vinny Two Chins returned the favor costing Frustrated Inc. a match against The Insiders. Since then, Fanuci has been humiliated time after time by members of Frustrated Inc, and was forced into signing with the group in March 2007. After yet another loss, I forced Fanuci to use The Rolling Stones' "C*cksucker Blues" as his entrance music. Not finding that humiliating enough, I forced him to use Patrick Swayze's "She's Like The Wind." Also, we have been engaged in a bit of a war on the popular Website MySpace.com in recent weeks. I have also forced Fanuci to become a man-whore to the very pregnant Ms. Shitifa and other obese women, forcing him to perform the most vile acts of sexual perversion. After Fanuci lost to Frustrated Inc. at Memorial Day Massacre, Frustrated Inc. took ownership of Fanuci's burned out, beloved Strasburg Pizza and Subs Restaurant and relocated it to Braddock, TX changing the name to An Inconvenient Cafe and donating a portion of all sales to the Hillary Clinton for President campaign and to Planned Parenthood.

The devastation of losing in the finals of the WNWA World Heavyweight Championship tournament at Memorial Day Massacre was eased when Judge William J. Jennings granted me the United Nations/American Civil Liberties Union International Human Rights and World Peace Heavyweight Wrestling Championship immediately following Memorial Day Massacre. Jennings and I then threw the self-proclaimed "Party of the Century": The Liberal Librarian's Wrestling Circus to celebrate my championship. This night of debauchery has led some to question whether I am taking human growth hormones, as a "box of steroids" were delivered to me during the event. I have also added about 90 lbs of muscle mass to my frame in the past year. I vehemently deny these allegations and have come out with a line of "all natural herbal" supplements called "Libotine- the all natural way to pack on muscle, dude!"

I remained the number one contender for the World Heavyweight Championship and faced Ass Butte in a rematch with both Butte's and The Lib's championships on the line in a Title vs. Title Hell in the Cell match at UnCivil War. Butte was victorious in this brutal match thanks to help from "Richard Nixon" who came into the cell through the bottom of the ring and severely injured me with a spinebuster on the steel ring steps that had been brought into the ring. Butte then scored the pin on my blood soaked body after a Butte Bomb on the steps.

Though bloody, beaten and broken, I immediately challenged Butte to a Three Stages of Hell Match for ILL Gotten Gains at the post PPV news conference. Butte agreed to the challenge with the three matches being a Texas Bullrope Match, a TLC Match, and a Last Ride Match if necessary. Butte also demanded that this be a Do or Die match for me, meaning if I do not win this match I will never get another shot at the title as long as Butte holds it.

On July 23, 2007, I discovered that my UN/ACLU title was missing. Evidently, David Downs took it during the post-match confusion at UnCivil War. I recovered the belt, but not before Downs managed to deface it by spray painting "ADA Speshul Olimpiks Champeun" on it. I brought swift justice down on Downs, hitting him with a Cut and Run at Braddock County Public Library and taking the belt back.

I am a staunch liberal and blame all the world's problems on conservatives and white Christian men. I hate all white men except for the Lummox and The Vagrants and I especially hate the South except for what I call "Colored Culture." I am very good friends with Da Crunk, Curtis Lowe, Da Brothas and Ms. Shitifa. I am an adamant atheist, but I support all religions except Christianity. I am openly bisexual.

I have contacted Cindy Sheehan in support of her protests of the Iraq War. After months of trying, she finally contacted me asking "What?!?!!?" and "Sorry about your anus."

When not battling my conservative opponents in the ring, I work full time at BCPL in the Reference Department. I am a snitch for the liberals who run that establishment and is committed to freedom of speech and fighting the Patriot Act. I do this by allowing known sex-offenders to utilize the computers in the library to view pornography and allowing vagrants, the homeless, and known felons to loiter within the library all day. It is alleged that I am complicit in their crime. I have been known to alert sex offenders veiwing pornography on the computers that their parole officer was approaching. I have allegedly erased surveillance video tapes which reveal criminal acts committed in the library. I am accused of pointing out unattended purses for the criminals to steal. Recently I was been granted a fellowship to research library services for the homeless and registered sex offenders.

I have a strange fetish in which he likes to leave Cleveland Steamers on my opponents' chest after defeating them. I am also into scat porn.

I have one cat named Kibbles.

I am the host of the variety news hour Liberal Morning on OIL TV. The show is held live every weekday morning from the OIL TV Studio. The show features live musical performances by the Moonbat Band. On July 5, 2007 I announced on my MySpace.com blog that I have signed a contract to simulcast Liberal Morning on GLBTV. I announced that he has a new co-host for the show, Gail Donnelly, she is also my live-in girlfriend.